Mine

Oh how I love Erik.

He is wonderful.

I might be selfish sometimes...and not want him to do anything else except being with me.

Just me.

Last night while we were watching psych one of our favorite things to do Erik fell asleep.

And I watched him.

My heart smiling.

Feeling a light, warm, fuzzy feeling. 

And I realized.

That he's mine.

All mine.

He is the best thing that's ever been mine.

And I love him. 

the picture

Today was a hard day.
I had no motivation at all and I was lazy.

So I texted Erik and he was so sweet and nice to me.
Then he sent me a picture to cheer me up.
It made my whole day!
I was jumping up and down!
soso happy.
because it's the little gifts like that, that make my heart pound
But then I found out that a girl from his work had just drawn it.
It kind of brought me down a little bit.
It was nice that he sent it to me and all, but I thought it was his.
I thought he had created something special for me.

I was just a tiny bit upset,
so I told him how I wanted him to draw me one sometime.
He wasn't sure.
Said he was a perfectionist so he was scared.
I told him I would love it no matter what.
Then,
all of the sudden.
He sends me an even better picture that he drew!!!

I was SO happy!!
It was perfect and a million times
a kajillion times better than the other one.

I hope he realizes how much that one tiny picture means to me.
It means more than words can explain.
Just because he was willing to get out of his comfort zone and draw a picture for me,
that is why I love Erik.
He really would do anything for me.
I am so grateful for him and everything he does for me.

look up

Today, I spent the whole entire day with my mummsy.
We shopped in St. George.
We talked for hours.
We reconnected.
And it was awesome.

I really do love my mom.
with all my heart.
And I am so grateful for everything she does for me.

I was finally able to really talk to her about Erik.
Finally.

We are making babysteps.
Erik and I

The biggest relief factor was that Erik is giving me space.
And not forcing me to make my decision to marry him or not.

He wants me to do what makes me happy.

That made my mom breathe a huge sigh of relief.
Life is good.

It's even better when you look up.

laugh till your sides hurt.

Tonight I couldn't stop laughing.
I laughed laughed laughed.

I haven't done that since high school.
It felt good.

Erik probably thinks I'm crazy....
oh well.
I was happy :)

the one with the gum surgery.

2:30
Erik had gum surgery.
I was sitting in a classroom at North Elementary in Cedar City.

3:30
Erik had gum surgery
I was walking to class.

4:00
Erik got out of gum surgery
I was sitting in Art class.

For every hour of the day.
I wish I was with Erik.

This long distance thing is awful.
Never do long distance. ever.

my strength.

I am weak.
I am not smart.
I am not strong.


That's why I have Heavenly Father. Christ. and Erik.
They are my life.
They are my strength.

I couldn't do this alone.
I couldn't do it without them.

They keep me going.
They keep me happy.
They keep me strong.

They help me see the light at the end of the tunnel.
They still love me, no matter what I do.
They are there for me.

They remind me that I need to never lose faith or hope.
Never ever.

I am so grateful for them each and every day.

good bye is the hardest...even if it's only till tomorrow.

The worst thing.
The thing I hate the most.
Is saying goodbye.

It's awful.
I spent a wonderful weekend with the man of my dreams and then I have to leave him?
Why did I choose this again?
Why did I decided to put myself through this torture?
It's the right thing.
I keep telling myself
over and over and over again.


It will all be worth it in the end.